Personal Growth Isn’t About Hustle: It’s About Rest

I fell asleep with dirty dishes in and around the sink last night.

When I woke up and saw the dirty dishes, my judge whispered to me, “Omg, how gross. How could you do that?”

Then I was fine. I heard the judge, and I didn’t really acknowledge her. I just focused on how tired I was. It’s okay that dirty dishes were left in the sink. I’ll take care of it after I do my morning routine—or, honestly, whenever I can!

We have to leave the house soon and I still haven’t taken care of it and I still feel peachy!

Having clean dishes before they sleep could be a growth edge for some people.

For me, things like that would be opportunities for my self-judgment to come in hard.

I would self-criticize myself into self-improvement and it would hide behind “personal growth”.

Now, I’m realizing that “personal growth” means being kind to myself today. How can I let go of how I should be and accept myself for who I am?

I’ve seen those reels where it’s a couple and one partner needs to rest before doing house chores and the other partner cannot rest until house chores are done.

This used to be me. I had to clean and tidy before studying and before resting. What would end up happening though, now that I’m co-living with folks, is that it takes away the opportunity for others to help with house chores. I would then turn my judge onto them for how they’re not putting in their share and become resentful and bitter.

I realized now that my self-criticism would turn onto them because since I didn’t allow myself to rest until chores are done, neither could others!

Over time, I’ve learned from my partner that I can rest while still having house chores. I can rest even though there are dirty dishes in the sink. I can watch a TV episode with him before any chores are done.

I can rest or do things I find pleasurable before tackling my to-do list.

I recently finished “Pleasure Activism” by adrienne marie brown and this concept of finding pleasure is further ingrained in me right now.

I’m also currently reading “Rest is Resistance” by Tricia Hershey and the concept of rest > hustle is also working its magic further into the deep layers of my consciousness.

Highly recommend both books if you’re struggling with finding joy in life, constantly hustling, and just struggling to be okay with resting.

Sending you love and care during these weird, apocalyptic-feeling times 💛

P.S. I’m thinking of resuming a group coaching cohort in the next few months.

By the end of the cohort (~7 weeks), you will be able to recognize that part of you who loves to knock you down.

You’ll also learn how to come back to your joyful self through tuning into your body, breathwork, and ancient yogic practices.

This is the work that helped me NOT think of divorce every time me and my partner have a conflict. We bicker freely now without the risk of separating…you know, like other normal couples 😅

It freed up so much more energy at work by helping me have energetic boundaries with my patients. For example, I used to say yes to most people who came late and felt bad whenever I had to say no.

This feeling bad or trying to appease my patients and colleagues leaked so much energy from me that I didn’t have energy left over for myself or my loved ones when I came home from work.

It made me think I can only work a max of 2 days a week as a doctor. Now I’m working 4 days a week and I still have energy left over for me and my husband at the end of the work day.

Frankly, if we want to combat the current destructive systems of yt supremacy and toxic capitalism in place, we need to first work on those systems in our own spirits, our minds, and our bodies.

I believe we need to have a solid foundation and tools for us to work on those things within ourselves so we can get out there and do the work to tear those systems down.

I went from “sleep is the cousin of death” (yes, a Nas lyric was my mantra) to “I can and will rest and enjoy every minute of it”.

I didn’t expect my P.S. to be so long 😅

Let me know if you’re interested in this work by commenting or emailing me because I recently deleted all my meta apps.